Wonders never cease

Why is it that some days it seems like everyone in the world is dealing with one type of sadness or another? I wake up each day to convince myself that I can make it through another day, and that I made the right decision to start my journey to recovery. Everyday it’s a little easier to believe that I did make the right decision, at the same time it’s still not any easier to deal with the pain that I now can’t seem to push away. But it’s days like today, that no matter how hard my life truly is, I am reminded that I am not the only one with pain and suffering, though it may feel like it at times.

My co-worker and friend Z took a long awaited trip this past weekend to see her fiancé. She was so excited all of last week, almost to the point of annoyance to those of us not in one of those happy relationships. Not only was it the first time in nearly two months that she had seen him, but it was also her first plane ride. Needless to say, she was elated for Friday to come. When she came in this morning, of course my first question to her was about her weekend. I could tell by looking at her that something was off, but honestly put it off to her being tired from the weekend and late flight last night. When she made eye contact I could tell then that she had been crying. It turns out that her weekend was not anything like what she expected. Early Saturday night she overheard her fiancé talking with a friend. His friend was trying to convince him to tell her about something, and he was saying that he didn’t know how. Apparently, her fiancé had a one night stand not too long ago. Needless to say, she was not only pissed, but crushed as well. This was the man she planned on marrying. The man she had loved for the past four years. All of the sudden her world was falling around her. She gave him back the ring and spent the remainder of her weekend alone in a hotel in a stranger city. All I could tell her was that no matter what anyone says or does for her nothing will be ok until her heart and head decides it’s time. That it’s ok to be upset and angry and that no one can blame her for being upset or distracted. The good thing is that she is young and has plenty of time in life to fall in love again. Who knows this may be a great thing for her, or so I can only hope for her.

Today my brother’s uncle passed away after a long, hard battle with cancer. He was put into a hospice last night after being told that there wasn’t much else they could do for him. Basically his body was rejecting it’s self and all they could do for him was make him as peaceful as possible. J, his mother, and brother had planned to leave Wednesday or Thursday to go to see him, thinking that it probably wouldn’t be much longer before he passed. No one expected to be leaving to attend a funeral. Now, as it turns out J, C, J’s parents, and siblings will all be leaving very early Wednesday morning to make arrangements and help with preparations. Though I myself had never met Uncle M, I have heard so many stories of his generosity, carefree ways, and loving attitude that I know he will be very dearly missed.

It’s time like this, that I step back and realize that while, yes, I am hurting more than I have in a long time, I am not the only one. I am not saying that my pain, or theirs, is any more or less than the other, but it’s sometimes a shock to be reminded that everyone suffers in one way or another, more often than most people care to realize most of the time. While these two stories are very different in nature, they both share a common quality. Both J and Z lost a loved one this weekend, and nothing will ever replace that spot in their hearts. I can only hope that the pain fades with time.

~*In Memory of Uncle M: Rest in Peace*~